Friday, November 27, 2015

"I Swear I Lived"

Do you know this song? I LOVE it! It makes me excited about life. It makes me happy to try new things and give it everything I have. 

"I owned every second that this world could give. I saw so many places--the things that I did! Yeah, with every broken bone, I swear, I lived!"

I have surgery on my ankle on Tuesday--as in, FOUR DAYS. I've had problems with this ankle for so long. I still remember the first time I broke it when I was in second grade and trying to get around my sister's Barbie's on the floor and I fell into the corner of the TV. It hurt, but everybody thought I was faking it because I ALWAYS get hurt and surely no one could have that bad of luck, right? Well, I do and I think the people around me are starting to realize it. Two weeks had gone by and it was still really hurting me so I decided to take matters into my own hands. I faked a fall from the monkey bars at school so they called my mom and she took me to the doctor. Aw, my first fracture. Then in sixth grade, we were scrimmaging the fifth graders in recreation basketball and I went up for a rebound and came down on Sandee Dalton's foot. I still cringe when Inthink about that. If you've ever rolled your ankle, you know that just thinking about it is a real sphincter-pucker. As the years have gone on, there have been many more injuries to that ankle in volleyball and basketball. In college, I spent more time in the whirlpool or with the trainer and an ultrasound than I did on the volleyball court. I went to doctor s and they all said the same thing: "If you do it again, you will need to have surgery." I just kept going to different doctors.

Then in 2013, B and I bought a new hike pack for Baby E and I was so excited to use it that I insisted on using it first.

Ah, it was May 1st and we were exploring a new, beautiful trail around Pegram, Tennessee.

Then I tripped on a tree root. Luckily, I had enough mom-sense to fall forward instead of backward because of E. Instantly there was a pop and I yelled, "I just broke my ankle!" B took E and the pack from me and I had no choice but to hike the two miles back out to the car.

Sure enough it was broken. Little did I know that this was the break that haunt me time and time again. It didn't hurt too bad and I ran a half marathon three months later, thinking I had rehabilitated it well. But it would randomly go--walking was even problematic at times because it would just go randomly and I couldn't do anything to prevent it. I finally got an MRI and confirmed what I had know for a while; I needed surgery. So on Tuesday, I will be in Provo, Utah with some renowned surgeon taking out a chunk of my ankle bone and repairing a ligament, possibly with a cadaver piece (how cool is that?! I'll be part zombie!). 

Back to the song. "With every broken bone, I swear, I lived." That is true for me. I love hiking and I have seen some beautiful places. I love playing volleyball and basketball. I always knew there was potential for injury, but I still did it and will continue to do the things I love because I want to live! I want the good stories!

My doctor promised that after surgery, I will be better at running and CrossFit and I'm looking forward to this. 

Until then I'm trying to keep my head up and stay active any way I can. I'm so thankful we bought a spin bike several months ago because that puts zero pressure on my ankle. Although I'm always reminded of how weak my legs are when I bike.

This is currently my workout room. B had the great idea to clean out our storage closet and really that just meant placing all the stuff somewhere else until I go through it. I was able to carefully maneuver my way to the bike in the back.

It was hard and made me realized how out of shape I have gotten in the last month. I broke a sweat and that's what I needed. Breathing easier will come later. When I find working out to be disheartening, I try to end it with something I like. Handstands, it is!!!

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