While working out today, I started to become very reminiscent. My goal after having Baby E was to get back to the shape I was in before I got pregnant. I had run a couple of half marathons. I was a pretty decent athlete growing up and played every sport I possibly could along with stints of gymnastics, dance, and cheer leading. I went on to play college volleyball where I was the team captain, MVP my last year, All-Regional, and nominated for NCCAA Athlete of the Week from my performance in a tournament in Canada. I even played college basketball if you count being a decoy that runs around like a chicken with their head cut off as "playing". You'd think I was in great shape, right? Was I out of shape? No. You could often find me in the weight room or running on one of the dirt roads when it wasn't 20 degrees below zero. However, I've become painfully aware since having a baby that my whole life I've done just enough to get by. I needed to be strong to hit hard and jump high? I'd lift weights, but not really push myself to see how far I would go. I refused to do squats because of a knee injury I had in high school and "it hurt". I have now learned the difference between pain and being uncomfortable. I'm really sad and a little furious that I did not learn this difference when I was younger. It makes me wonder how good of an athlete I really could have been. If I could do as well as I did with half-assed effort...ugh! That's depressing! *sigh* I'm sure every person has there own version of the "shoulda, woulda, coulda" story but man, it sucks when you realize your own. Now, the reason I'm sharing this...
I don't want to live a life of just doing enough to get by. I laugh when I think about trying to get back to the shape I was in before I got pregnant because I totally blow my former self out of the water now. I'm stronger and faster now that I ever have been. As great as that is, the best thing is that I'm mentally stronger than ever. I have shed 25 minutes off of my half marathon time since having a cesarean section a year ago! About a month ago I went to show B that I thought I had a hernia. He laughed at me and said it was an abdominal muscle!!! These little accomplishments are what keep me motivated to get going. To push myself further than I've ever pushed myself before. I used to say that I was someone who didn't really sweat when I worked out and now I look like a drowned rat afterwards because I actually push myself to the limits. The times when things get hard and uncomfortable and I want to back down, I push myself harder because it is in the hard times that you get stronger. Today I did two minute incline intervals while running and it was hard. After the first one I found myself questioning the whole workout and wondering if it was too hard and trying to find a way to make it easier. The next interval came and I did it because instead of thinking of the time or how hard it was, I thought about the reasons I was doing it and I listed them off in my head. By the time I was done with that, my interval was over and I got to recover. I never would have been able to do that in the past.
My take away is to always push yourself no matter what you are doing. Don't strive to just be good enough--be GREAT!
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